DPPD
I was starting to write about what dicks small town cops are, but instead decided to focus on why I like DePere cops. The following are a couple of stories about the DPPD to show why I love DP cops. As much shit as I give Chris, I think everyone knows he will actually be one of the good ones. I can see him being like this…
Dragging
A few months ago, I rolled up next to a cop at a stop light in west DePere. I looked over at him & he gave me a chin nod & a grin. Ok, nice enough guy, so for whatever reason I rev my engine & jump ahead a bit. I then look over, throw a grin & wink. What does dude do? He revs the fucking cop car & jerks a little ahead of me. He then looks over at me, throws a smile & winks. I don’t know of I have ever laughed so hard in my life in a car.
Paintballing
Back in fall of 2000, I was a punk kid who worked a lot of hours & had no bills. I got it in my head that I needed a paint ball gun & went down to the hobby store & picked one up. This just happened to coincide with
I heard the door open &, in my mirror, I could see a shadowy figure from behind the squad’s spotlight. What came next caught me a little, ok, a ton off guard. “Get out of the car with your hands up!” OK, really, WTF did I do? I got out of my car, arms raised sky high, & peeked behind me. 3 cops had guns drawn on me! You ever want to shit your pants, have 3 trigger happy cops with guns pointed at your fucking head behind you.
I was then forced to lay on the ground & patted down. They then asked if I had any weapons in the car. “Just a paint ball gun sir.” Wrong answer. Dude fucking flipped on me. “You could have been shot. I would have shot your ass had I come up on your car & seen that gun!”
In the process, they had run my license. OK, so I never went down to renew on my 18th B-day. So now they have me for gun possession (apparently paintball guns in virtual high school war zones can be considered a weapon. Who would have thought?) & driving without a license. Dude makes it very apparent I am in deep ass shit. His speech was lost though.
One cop comes up behind me & says, “Don’t worry, your record is clean. We are letting you off.” Good & bad move on his part. Good because the log stayed out of my pants, bad because it gave me a license to be cocky. The short, stocky cops started reaming my ass again. This time I started popping off one liners. I was agitating the angry cop but the other 5 behind him were laughing their asses off. I was definitely funny, just at a bit inopportune time.
In the process of him freaking out again, he explained I was getting off but I was very lucky. I thank him & went for the hand shake (I was big on that even then.). Dude fucking stiffs me! The other 5 shook my hand & one even patted me on the back & thanked me for my comic relief on a tough night.
Now for a few lessons learned. 1) Don’t carry around a paint ball gun under your floor mat. 2) Don’t mouth off to the short angry cop. 3) If you are going to do something stupid, do it in DePere. Had this been Kaukauna, the only thing I would have walked away would be baton prints all over my body.
Anyway…. See ya when I see ya…. Peace!
