These Are the Days

I had a couple extra minutes so i thought I would get a couple thoughts down. Last night rocked. Little bit of drinking but more importantly we got to talk a ton of old LC stories with Kiel in attendance. It has been a while since I have laughed that f4reaking hard. It has inspired me to the write a Blog on Kelly Clarkston’s A Moment Like This. Expect that in the next week. Life is so simple when drunk. Everything is in black & white. I wish life was that way at all times.

Last night was kind of indicative of how I think the summer is going to go, a lot of drinking & even more laughs. I think things are going to be a lot like last summer. We are going to meet a ton of new people & have some hella sweet parties.

Saturday, the boys (Chris, Miah, & J) & I leave for Indianapolis. I am more excited for this trip than I have been in a while for it, as are the guys. There has been so little cash to travel this year, it will be nice to splurge a little, party a little, & just lay back.

We usually pick 3 drivers & average the finishes. My picks for the race… (I have about $50 & a bottle of Jack riding on this race through various bets.)

Danica Patrick
Kenny Brack
Sam Hornish Jr.

They should come through for me.

We get back Sunday night & Monday should just be a day of rest. Tuesday should be cool as I embark on my 1^st college field trip. My social geo class rolls down to Milwaukee for the day. We are stopping everywhere from ghettos to UWM.

For my trips, I a bringing a ton of disposable cameras. It has been a while since I have updated my Yahoo! picture albums, this will be a good opportunity to add to the collection. This weekend is going to rock, so expect a good Blog or two at some point next week.

Peace & I <3>

Posted by D. Schwa at 1:11 PM | Permalink | Comments

For my summer session class, I had to write a paper on a memorable place. After about a second of thought, memories of Jaren's cabin were dancing in my head. The next part was thinking of a way to make a paper on getting wasting & nearly blowing myself up acceptable for a Catholic liberal arts college. I think I was up to the task. Inspiration was derived from J's Last Summer Sunset paper & I even went so far as to steal a few ideas & analogies (A self-acknowledged pirate, anyone is welcome to steal, I mean derive inspiration from, any of the term papers I post on here.). In any event, enjoy as much as I hope Dr. Bockenhauer is…

Everyone has a place they escape to, a peaceful sanctuary. You go there to relax, unwind, and recharge your batteries. It is that place that brings you to a state of near nirvana. Nestled in northern Wisconsin is my peaceful sanctuary, a cabin owned by one of my best friends, Jaren. It is a place where friendships have been surpassed and a sort of brotherhood has been developed. If a quick favorite memory poll was taken of my group of friends, undoubtedly time spent at this cabin would be at the top of everyone’s list. Due to the peaceful surroundings and great memories, Jaren’s cabin is my little slice of heaven.

A quick reach into the glove box of my Alero reveals a pile of maps and directions rivaled only by that of an associate professor of geography. In this tangled clump of well used and worn maps is what outwardly appears to be just another scribbled set of directions. As the paper is unfolded, it begins to reveal a hand drawn map (of remarkable accuracy) that follows a snake-like squiggly path from Kaukauna up highway 55 and into the town of Advance. The trip isn’t a difficult one, several shortcuts and a good CD make the estimated 1 hour travel time rip by with amazing speed (along with a high rate of speed.). You eventually come upon a little town with a little bar on the corner, Barb’s. The cabin is not far now. After pulling out of the town, you are just a dot in a seemingly never ending myriad of dairy farms and agricultural fields.

With a quick left, then right, you come upon a tree that doesn’t really belong and an aluminum gate. This is the entry to my Mecca. Upon entering the gate, there is a dusty, winding road that leads you into wooded acreage that does not seem to fit into the rural surroundings. A quick navigation up the path reveals a wide open clearing dotted by a huge fire pit and moderately sized cabin. This scene is backed by what seems to be Robin Hood’s endless, dark Sherwood Forest. A peek inside the cabin reveals a huge open room containing a dual kitchen and living space shadowed by a towering loft containing a dozen or so bunks. The smell of charred pine and sweet must permeates the air. The feeling is immediately one of home and comfort.

Buildings may conjure up memories, however people make the memories. Our cast and crew is a tight knit group of young men that all met as employees at the same retail outlet. The stars of the show are what we have affectionately begun to call the Three Amigos, Jaren, Chris, and myself. All three of us would outwardly seem to be complete opposites, and actually disliked each other for the most part when we met each other. I am the classic type A personality. Hard driving and always in a hurry, I was cut out for a life in business and am sure to die of a heart attack at a premature age. Jaren is a certain type B personality. Laid back and calm, if you ever want to be put back into a good mood, hang out with Jaren for 5 minutes. His laid back approach to life and friendly personality attracts everyone to him like kids to an ice cream truck on a hot summer day. Chris is a hybrid of Jaren & I. His personality 100% correctly matches his career choice, an officer of the law. Honest to a near flaw, he is laid back, yet extremely passionate about his interests. The three of us get along in ways not many people understand. Our affection for each other is manifested through roasting each other. A sarcastic comment is always on the tip of each one of our tongues. Although odd, this dynamic trio always combines to experience off the wall crazy and incredibly unique fun times.

The summer of 2004 was the first time I had ever made the trip up to Jaren’s cabin. A group of our friends converged on the site to celebrate Jaren’s birthday over a four day period in mid July. The heat was sweltering, however the times were even hotter. After days of consuming cold beverages, our last evening was unfortunately upon us. We wanted to leave in style and began making preparations to construct the largest fire any one of us had ever seen. Dragging anything out of the woods that would burn, we began forming a mountain of material upon a felled tree in the fire pit. After several hours of collecting material for the fire, it was now time to ignite our glorious creation. By this time, none of us were in any position to be standing, much less igniting mountains of flammable material. Jaren and I stepped up to the plate to light the fire as Chris and others stood back to avoid the soon to be inferno. As Jaren poured a five gallon container of gasoline on the fire, we all looked on in awe and amazement at our creation. He pulled back the gas can as if the French in retreat as I launched a flaming bottle on the fire. It turns out he was merely cocking his arm back for another dousing of gasoline and we were soon sent flying through the air by a fiery explosion of gasoline and burning debris (I have decided to leave this incident off my professional resume.).

Karma was on our side as we both survived the blast and were left laughing uncontrollably after regaining what was left of our senses and getting back on our feet. As the fire raged, a ring of cloth folding chairs began to encircle the stone edged pit. Never being the types to just sit and enjoy a perfectly good camp fire, we decided to experiment with more dangerous and highly explosive materials. First into the fire was an air horn Jaren used to wake everyone up at 4 in the morning (Good riddens.). It launched into the sky like a space shuttle off to the vastness of space, finally landing a few 100 feet behind us in a field. The circle of occupied chairs became a ghost town as we came up with more and more explosive ideas. Previously unthinkable mixtures were set, thrown, and launched into the pit, each the catalyst for oos, awes, and shrieks of delight. The grand finale was a can of Off! bug spray that rained a napalm like swath of burning liquid on 15 foot radius.

Slowly each one of us succumbed to our liquid fun and dropped in the grass like lawn ornaments in an eccentric old man’s yard. Waking up in the morning, with splitting headaches and a definite wobble to our gaits, a damage assessment was done. The large amount of bottles everywhere would be no problem to clean up, as would the now smoldering pile of ash in the pit. The swath of burned lawn was quickly seeded and would soon be back to its precariously dangerous guard of the fire pit. The ring of lawn chairs surrounding the fire wasn’t so lucky. It seems as though the fiery explosion following the placement of bug spray in the fire had seared holes in every cloth chair surrounding the pits. We perpetrators were all relieved when everyone had a good laugh about it.

The effects of this little cabin up north and the memories created there are priceless. The simple mention of J’s Cabin brings an ear to ear smile on each participant’s face. Nearly every time the three of us are together, the four days we spent up north that week in July are mentioned. We have since followed that trip up with other memorable visits, but the memory of the first time never really fades. The experience has left an indelible mark on the collective group of us.

Currently Playing…
Mezmerize
By SOAD
“Violent Pornography”

Posted by D. Schwa at 2:54 PM | Permalink | Comments

Today I started my 1^st summer session class. This may be the best concept ever. 13 classes, 3 hours long, & you have a full credit. Does it get much easier than that? One week of classes equals 5 weeks of regular semester work. 1 paper, 2 exams, & you are done. I was fairly excited to say the least. They one upped it though. 1 day is canceled already, 1 day is a field trip to Milwaukee. Yea, it’s college & I get to go on a freaking field trip!

The class I am now enrolled in is social geography. Not only is it a required course for my major, broad field social studies, but seems to be pretty interesting. We were asked right off how much traveling we have done. I was surprised to find out I was one of the better traveled in the class. It kind of gave me an opportunity to think about all my trips around the Midwest. I have been to Detroit, Minneapolis, Indianapolis, Cleveland, & of course Milwaukee. The 1^st thing that came to mind was a trip I took Chicago at this time last year. The moment I always flash to is my time on the observation deck at the Hancock building. It’s the 2^nd largest building in Chicago & looks out over Lake Michigan. You can see 4 states as you look out. I saw it at night & it was absolutely breath taking looking out over the city, completely lit up. I looked down & was amazed that there were over 3 million people below me, just living their lives. It was a lot like looking down on an ant hill…I guess you had to be there.

One other thing to come out of my class…. I was amazed at how boring people’s lives are. There are 6 people in my class & everyone was talking about how all they do is work & sit at home. I work a lot, by choice mind you, but how isn’t their time to have fun? How can’t there be people to chill with? When I was in high school, I thought all the ‘cool’ kids had all the fun. Not all, it is the dorks like us. We are pretty much the definition of dorks. If you know html outside of viewing the source on a web browser, you are a dork. If you love on Star Wars, Chris, you are a dork. It is just fact. We all are. We still party more & have more fun than anyone though. (I should have prefaced that by saying out of people that actually accomplish & do things in a life. Druggies & hippies are excluded.)

On a completely different note, Indianapolis is only a week & a half away. This will be my 16^th year, J’s 3^rd, Chris’ 2^nd & I think we are all stoked. I haven’t had a chance to see anything on TV, but I do try to keep pace with it on the internet (Unlike NASCAR, Indianapolis takes a month top get ready for the race. 2 weekends of qualifying & 1 week of racing.). Over the weekend, all the buzz has been over the woman driver there this year. In the past, they have just put woman in the seat to get publicity. None of them were qualified & crashed out early taking out good car with them. This year is 100% different. There is a driver by the name of Danica Patrick & I am hella excited to see her race. She is qualified for the job & has earned her way through the ranks, something affirmative action has ruined in all other aspects of life. Yesterday she was a little nervous & almost wrecked her car on the 1^st qualifying lap (They average 4 laps rather than taking the single fastest.). Had she not, she would have had the pole (1^st spot) as she ripped off the 3 quickest pas of the day after that. Hopefully she does well on race day, she has 100% earned every opportunity she has right now. I will go on record as saying she is my favorite IndyCar driver now.

Right now I am absolutely hooked on Day One Symphony. Their CD, a Vicious Circle, kicks a lot of ass. It is way unique & just jacks me up whenever I hear it. On the subject of music, I was reading an interview by dredg bassist Drew Roulette & he proved why I think any one of those guys could be one of my boys.

"We dont breed them ...we fuck them."
-His response to being asked, “Why do penguins feature so heavily in your works? Do you breed them in your tour bus?”-

I found a bunch of their new shit on Ares. Check it out for the download. Way rambling entry, I hope you heart!

Currently playing….
Catch Without Arms
By dredg
“Sang Real & Not that Simple”

Posted by D. Schwa at 10:57 PM | Permalink | Comments

I decided to sit back & just chill tonight. It has been a while where I had a night with no homework or commitments that I could just sit around & think. Friday was the last day of anything for the semester at St. Norbert’s. There was one final paper I had to hand in for my Western Civ class & I the spring 2005 semester was over. It kind of put myself in one of those reflective moods I get in every couple of months. The past year has been such a rollercoaster for me. I think it has been chronicled fairly well, but wait until I start telling some of the stories that were time sensitive (You know, those stories you don’t want anyone to know about, but then just one day it clicks how funny they were & you best them out.).

Education is maybe the best gift you can give yourself in life. So many people go to school & just blindly take in material & spit it out without actually analyzing it. The point of an education is to evaluate & reevaluate yourself & what you believe. If you can’t grow through the process, you are wasting a valuable opportunity.

Before I went back to college, there were a few people that said I could or never would do it. I didn’t have the drive to succeed? I guess I can understand it in a way, but where in anything in my life did I ever fall short of going far beyond expectations. To be honest, I had no idea what the hell I wanted to do with my life. In the mean time I worked my ass off & was promoted extremely quickly, essentially earned an associates degree, & bought a lot of things I could have never dreamed of owning. That’s pretty bad for someone that had no idea, at all, what they were going to do with their life.

Now I have figured it out, for the most part. If you set a definite path in life, you will miss ton of opportunities, but I do know what orientation I would like to take. You can never count anything out though. My opportunity presented at St. Norbert is one a lot of people would kill for. I thank God every day for it. Now that I know what I want to do, there isn’t very much in my way. I would actually like to thank the people that said I would never accomplish any of this. To the few of you, & you know who you are, thanks. You are the same people that are mired in mediocrity, mediocrity in life, personal relationships, & a future. There is a great lesson history teaches, easy short term solutions are always trumped by long term creams. Impatience destroys the weak.

Hopefully I will have my associates by the end of the year (One final project to go & a couple transfer credits.), that is a little out of my hands. I will get it though. I will have my SNC degree in 2 years. When I decide to do something, I do it. I accomplish things on my terms, when I want to. Control is an illusion, nobody can 100% control their lives, but you can have an effect on the outcomes that affect you. To think fate or destiny controls all shows an external locus of control that allows a person to assume no responsibility for there actions.

The best thing I have realized this year is just how genius my parents are. They have let me live life the way I have wanted. Not necessarily agreeing with all my decisions, but staying out of them until giving me guidance when I need it & ask for it. It has given me the chance to find what I want to do. I was never going to be one of those people that went to trade school for 6 months out of high school & magically had a career I was going to be stuck in the rest of my life with no other options. That’s how people end up in paper mills. The path of least resistance may get you somewhere easy, but where is it getting you? Did anyone honestly think I was just wasting my money away on school (Maybe the Pig’s)? I was biding time until I found something I knew I could be passionate about.

Random entry, I know. Moral of this entry? You know that little feeling you have in the pit of your stomach that you always want to follow? That little piece of doubt about your direction, who surrounds you, situations you are in? Think about it once in a while. I like to think it’s there for a reason.

Peace…

Posted by D. Schwa at 2:39 AM | Permalink | Comments

As I drove down to Kaukauna to pick up the guys to see dredg, I was absolutely excited. I try to avoid having expectations coming into things, but this was dredg, & well, they rock. J, Chris & Eric were up for the trip. We grabbed a bite to eat & were on the road. It was very uneventful ride down. As usual, we parked at the T Bell down the street from the Rave.

Only those who accept will find acceptance in return
When you've been trimmed by like edges
Thrown just aside, and wilt, and spit at each other from a distance
With constant resistant from you
I'm gonna need a home
You'd expect the same now wouldn't you, wouldn't you?
Your journey back to this is haunting you, haunting you
You departure from the end is haunting you, haunting you
-Bug Eyes-

After a short walk, we rolled into the rave. For this show we didn’t even get patted down. As gay as I am, I love the feel of a strong man’s arms running across my groin, a bit of a disappointment. Wethen made our assault of the merch table. They are just about to release their new CD & trying to dump all their old shirts. This meant the selection wasn’t what it will be soon, i found a shirt I liked though. Then we had to wait for a concert for the 1^st time ever. I have the Milwaukee drive down to a science & we always walk in as the opening band is starting, without fail. We were almost an hour early for this show, so we just stood around & waited in the lobby. A dude rolled out over to the dredg merch table that we were positioned by. Flashback to the last time we saw them, while J was buying a shirt, the bass player came & he had a convo with him. He just didn’t 100% realize it was the bass player until after the convo. Flash forward to this guy coming out before this show. Not being a 100% sure, & not wanting to make asses of ourselves, we skipped the convo this time. It was him as we realized as soon as dredg came on stage, we would redeem ourselves.

Climbing
Building us up
Tearing me down
Lifted back up we are climbing
All of this time
Drifting right back to the ground
-Yatahaze-

They caught us a little off guard when we found out the show was held in the bar. There are a few places to see shows at the Rave, & the bar is small, really small. This was my 1st time seeing a show there. We ended up about 5 feet from center stage, not bad. Day One Symphony was the 1^st show. It was their 1^st tour show & they were hella nervous at 1^st, but very good. I liked a lot. They sound a lot like Coldplay & dredg mixed together.

Circa Survive was up next. I had actually heard some of their stuff before hand & didn’t exactly like it. These are the bands I end up loving. They started playing & the lead singer was just fucking ripped. The opening song was Act Applauded, I liked. It was a pretty young crowd. Maybe it was their 1^st show, but they groped the hell out of the lead singer (They were trying to get him to strip too...WTF?). It was kind of, OK, really gay looking. The lead singer was leaning on the kids in the front row to stand up he was so drunk (It looked like he was reeiving a blowjob the whole show.). Imagine Jaren in getting pretty drunk stage, trying to play a show. It was a good looking train wreck, if that is possible. The highlight came as they began to play the last song of their set. Lead singer begins to flip out, flip out. He loses control & fucking takes out the symbols & half the drumset. As he tries to get up, he smashes his head on the symbols again. Hilarity ensued. He started screaming, “This is the extra long intro! You guys get a bonus!” He worked his way back to his feet as his own band was making fun of him. He got into the song & started to flip out again. He again fell into the symbols, this time keeping his feet. It was very fresh. Crica was definately a lot of fun.

Take these words
You'll have your day
Live it as your last
-Symbol Song-

Between shows, a dude wondered out loud whether dredg could beat Circa Survive. With a degree of certainty, we assured him dredge would blow them off the stage. dredg would soon be on stage…

As dredge rolled on stage, I was really excited. This was a moment I had been looking forward to since I heard they were coming. They played a few of their classics & then busted into some new stuff. The new shit is off the hook. I am eagerly anticipating the new release. My favorite song had to be Sang Real, it features the drummer playing piano (He would later play drums with one hand while playing keyboard with the other. It was fresh.). One thing I love the most about dredg is that they strike me as being exactly like our group of friends, just with real musical talent. For instance this dude, laced out on something, kept heckling the bass player. He returned fire began to just rip the kid in the crowd. It happened several time throughout the show & provided great entertainment to all in attendance.

The river is damned...
I can't recorrect my path.
Through this obstructed venture,
That isn't flowing yet.
Caught in his stare,
Electricity travels through my wires where,
They're reaching its core; its core; electricity...
- Penguins In The Desert-

After an offer to the crowd to join the band in a game of Scrabble after the show, dredg busted into their final song. This just happened to be my favorite song, Yatahaze. Perfect ending if that had been the ending of the night. After the show, we kind of waited for things to clear out. Chris & I were about 5 rows back from the stage, Jaren about 3, & Eric made it to the 1^st row. During the show, a drum stick bounced of both mine & Chris’ shoes. We missed it. A little earlier, J had one go straight through is hands. That close…. As we rolled up on J, he was making a deal for a kid that had actually gotten a stick. Dude ended up just giving it to him, props to that guy. If the show didn’t make J’s day, that did (Just about everyone at the show kicked ass. I don't know why, but everyone was really freindly for a change).

Here we go
down that same old road again
Sympathy unfolds the shell that holds
all the beauty within
Here we go
down that same old road again
A memory, a regret, a hope…
-Same ‘ol Road-

We walked out of the bar & I went back over to the merch table to pick up DayOne's & Circa’s discs. We regrouped & as we looked around. Circa Survive’s lead singer was walking up to the merch table. I ripped open the CD I just bought & rolled over to get a sig. He was a cool ass guy & still very drunk. He had to steady himself on me the whole time were talked. He gave me some chest love & a half hug (I am beginning to think dude is gay at this point.) & I was on my way.

Just as we were about to leave, who appears but the dredg bass player again. We were not going to miss that opportunity. J went & got his drumstick signed & I bough a vinyl to get signed. We shook hands, I thanked him for the great show & got the LP signed. He was a cool ass guy on top of playing bad ass music.

I saw a distant port
with no water to support
Burning the bridge between
Does anybody feel this way?
Does anybody feel like I do?
-Canyon Behind Her-

Needless to say, we all left fucking stoked. With 2 finals left, this was the beginning of my summer. If this is any indication, this is going to be a great summer again. dredg rules, & most of you have never heard them. WTF? :) Peace…& for the record my ears are still ringing. Much <3

Currently Playing

A Vicious Circle
By Day One Symphony
"The Big Trap"

Posted by D. Schwa at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments

So I come into work today & got maybe the weirdest new I have gotten in forever. “Hey dude, there is an arrest warrant out for you.” Well, ummmm, wow. I complexly forgot to pay for a speeding fine almost a year ago. Apparently, when you don’t pay for these, they arrest you next run in if you can’t pay the fine. Thank God it isn’t going to come to that as I luckily have friends in the business.

If you are a history major, you beat off to WWII movies. If you are a cop, you look up your friends records on the database (While not framing people & beating minorities.). On one of these little lookups it turns out there is an arrest warrant for my ass. I guess I can check off another thing on my ‘to do’ list. To anyone from the KPD, I will be in tomorrow.

In other news, dredg is tomorrow. DREDG IS TOMORROW! I love dredg. There will certainly eb a Blog on the experience for you. I will leave you with a dredg review…

While El Cielo is every bit as ambitious as their first disc, even more impressive is the fact that it not only meets those ambitions in nearly every aspect, but also proves itself to be one of the strongest releases this year. Hell, this is perhaps the single best album ever released by a band who is virtually unknown. In fact, it is truly a loss for music fans everywhere that more people have not been made aware of the pure sonic bliss that pours through this album. Dredg has a sound which is fairly difficult to describe. They've been favorably compared to both Radiohead and Tool, and while they sound like neither they certainly share the same sense of artistry that powers both of those bands. Dredg's music is a swirling caucophony of lush and propulsive rock that is textured and melodic, and driven by some genuinely impressive drum work. Perhaps one of the more apt comparisons for El Cielo would be a modern day take on early Pink Floyd, only with some of the emphasis on psychedelia removed and a higher value placed on moments of sheer beauty. The word beauty however does not indicate a lightness or airiness to their sound. This is a darker shade of beauty we're talking about, one with deep pitched tones converging into moments of power before giving way to landscapes of dynamic movement. This is music that creates motion and there are some who would likely refer to it as prog rock due to the intricate changes in tempo and signature. And yet it maintains its accessibility through solid song structure and strong hooks. Not to mention a truly impressive set of vocals. Lead singer Gavin Hayes has a voice that will draw the listener in and lead them on. It is his heavily nuanced and at times delicate performance that adds emotional weight to the music which might be deamed too complex otherwise. The words themselves weave together creating something of a concept album which tells the stories of various men and women who find themselves trapped in a "sleep paralysis." This intricate narrative is additionally told via diary entries and letters printed within the liner notes. The overall lyrical focus is on inner enlightment, changing the way the world is, and the fear of becoming detached from those around you… …The true strength of the album is the way in which it is all tied together into one coherent piece. This is the type of album best listened to in the late afternoon, lying on your couch with all the lights off and the phone unplugged. Many songs are tied together with brief interludes of piano and string, and the disc progresses in waves and themes… …This is quite simply the best release I've heard this year, possibly the best disc I've listened to… …Some people enjoy music as art. Others see it as a product for background noise and image. If you've any interest in music that falls so far on the side of art that you can't even see where the product is, then this disc will be right up your alley.

Thanks J.R. Scott @ Music.ign.com.

See guys, we are not the only ones.

In the mean time I <3 you all….

Posted by D. Schwa at 11:22 PM | Permalink | Comments

There seems to be a topic about me that continually comes up at work, “Why don’t I date?” Now it had gotten to the point I am gay, because I don’t date my female coworkers. Luckily I found it hilarious, but WTF? I am too good for everyone….because I won’t date anyone? You want reasons…

Reason #1: I don’t date coworkers, I am the guy that doesn’t flirt with anyone in work & doesn’t want in on any drama.

Reason #2: I said I would only date someone if I thought it could go somewhere. Of the few chicks I went on dates with or ‘hung out’ with, I really found none very interesting. different relationship.

Reason #3: There seems to be this perception that me smiling all the time is my bullshit customer service face. I am genuinely happy nearly all the time. Somewhere along the line I learned to not get worked up over negative small things & enjoy the positive small things. There is so much to be optimistic about & negativity just ruins that. My personal confidence is at an all-time high because of this. I could have dated the 1st woman who said hi to make myself feel better, & it might have worked for a while, but the wheels would have come off. You don’t’ just jump out of a relationship & straight into another without consequences. You can beat it for a while, but it is going to catch up with you. It has been long enough & a lot of things have changed within me. I think even if I dated any past girlfriends, it be a completely different.

So what up now? I make a huge distinction between women o see. There are those I date & those I have relationships with. The dating develops into relationships. My personal requirements are much lower for those I date over those I will have a serious relationship with. This summer I am not even thinking past August. This summer is going to be crazy, absolutely crazy. The last few weeks I have been drinking a little more & warming up for the summer. I am pretty much throwing my newly learned concept, moderation, out the window. This equation usually adds up to crazy stories I personally can’t recall (i.e. Chris’ B-day). My already low stress level is nonexistent & life is far less predictable. I am going to actually make the effort to date. It should be interesting.

The thing with dating & me is that I worry too little about it. What comes, comes, & what goes, goes. I am not the best looking guy, nor the most personable, etc, etc., but I am supremely confident in what I bring to the table. Confidence is the #1 key to dating. You want know how assholes get hot chicks? They honestly believe in the horseshit they sell. You have to believe on what you are selling (yourself). If you don’t, how is the person you are trying to date going to buy into it? Approaches such as whining or pity just don’t work, sorry to break the news.

What do I look for? For dating, just someone I can look at & talk to. Really pretty simple, I am not looking for Paris Hilton, but not a burn victim either. I guess that leaves a little too much in-between. For a relationship, everyone think I have this idealistic, perfect woman in my head. I am probably a little pickier than most people, but I am not nearly as tough on woman as people think I am. I like a woman that has class in her style. That is open to interpretation, but self respect permeates every facet of your personality. Family & friends mean a ton to me & should to her. Education & personal growth means a lot to me & should to her. Someone who likes to go out, be social, & is open to new things is also important. The only thing I am really weird about is cleanliness. I have become an absolute neat freak. This applies to me & my possessions. I can’t even adequately explain this. There are people that just have a clean appearance & people that have a dirty appearance. There isn’t much in-between with me. Does that make sense to anyone? Someone with a personality & brain….no, no, noooooooooooo…… I have this weird taste in woman I guess. Things either click for me or they don’t & it is usually immediate with me (Outside of that 1% of supermodel women.). I see certain women & think, “That is it.” If something like that happens, my life has kind of cleared itself to facilitate a relationship. This summer I am only working 1 or 2 nights a week. Next school year I am off Fri, Sat, & Sun, I have never had time like I have now.

This has turned into some kind of personal ad. I will stop before it gets really pathetic. This should help explain a little psych behind my dating. Enough with the, “He need to lower his standards stuff.” From now on my response will be, “You need to meet MY criteria.”

Anyway...I have decided to gank the currently playing feature from Xanga, but it staying @ the end of my entries. I like music recomendations & get a bunch of ideas from Xanga sites... I <3 You all...

Currently Playing
Twice The Speed of Life
By Sugarland
"Something More"

Posted by D. Schwa at 1:13 AM | Permalink | Comments

:Blog disclaimer: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED. I AM ONLY KIDDING SO EASE THE FUCK UP BEFORE YOU EVEN START READING. YOU WANT MY REAL THOUGHTS ON THE TOPIC OF ABORTION? HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION WITH ME.

Also, to receive free condoms, check out FreeCondoms.com (yes, it exists), & tell them Dustin sent you...Now we can begin...

This evening brought about the usual fun an evening at the Pig brings. Whenever I think I want to leave, I realize just how much fun we have on a daily basis. I t has gotten to the point I want to carry a voice recorder around to catch our conversations. For example, this evening, a woman’s vagina was referred to as “one of those sewer crates pouring into the ocean packed full of seaweed.” Everyone involved in the conversation, including myself threw up in our mouths a little bit.

Tonight’s longest lasting topic centered on condoms. I think everyone has a condom story at some point in dating. I mean, what is more disgusting than a used condom? OK, a used condom that has earned its redwings… we have all been there. They are one of those things that everyone hates but everyone uses, I hope. I mean, the difference between sex with & without a rubber isn’t even comparable. Unless you know your woman is on birth control, amazingly enough women find it nearly impossible to take a single pill a day, you use condoms to avoid having a few jr’s.

Everyone has busted off a rubber or two. It sucks…a lot. You spend the next 2-3 weeks answering a lot of what ifs in your head. What if she is pregnant? I have had a lot of women tell me I would be a great dad. Thanks for the compliment but I have no intent to find out how I would fare anytime soon. Those weeks are spent wondering, how would you handle it? How could I make the shove down the stairs look like an accident? Will using her stomach as a boxing dummy help? How long are those coat hanger lock picking classes & is it possible to fish that kid out of there with one? I mean, these are valid questions…Hang on, hell just called. Good news, I have been upped to 1^st class on the plane there.

So…my story centered around the purchase of condoms. I was going to visit a girlfriend at school & was told, “If you want to get laid, you MUST buy the condoms this week.” We were really safe, she was on the pill & for god sakes, I always pulled out. I mean, that’s effective…. In any event, I hate condoms, hate them. If sex without condoms is steak, sex with is that fat you can’t stomach to look at, much less eat. No matter how much begging I did this night, I was getting no loving without protection.

Where do you get condoms at 11 at night in Kaukauna, WI? I can tell you being in a pinch more than once. The Shell station off of 41. Normally they have a selection of 4 or 5, a pretty good variety for such a small location. I prefer the Her Pleasure, my penis is incredibly small & I figure she should at least enjoy the feel of the condom. (For the record there is absolutely no fucking difference. I bought one of the variety packs for research. Trying all 4 types in a day I came to this conclusion. What I will do for science.)

This day, there would be no selection, they had 1 pack left on the entire rack. Sweet, until I read the pack, “Magnum X-tra Large.” Fuck. This is every small penised man’s nightmare. I am dude that has 15 Monopoly sets in his closet, all missing the small thimble game piece because they were they only contraceptives that fit snuggly. Now I have to figure out on a 2 hour drive to UWM how to make this thing work. You are thinking, “Maybe she wouldn’t notice, we would most likely be hammered.” Thank God this woman had a sex sense or something. No matter how much liquor she had in her, she could think logically when it came to sex. This probably saved us 3 kids before she was on the pill. It’s not that I am irresponsible. It is just that no one is responsible with a case of Budweiser in them. This is the reason I look at all women like they are 4’11” & 300 pounds when I drink. I don’t have to wake up in the morning with a sick feeling & wondering what the fuck happened. (That & the last time I made I move on chick I apparently promised her an orgasm if we got on each other that night. I don’t remember this event, but rumor has it that the reason I didn’t have a chance to prove my bold statement was that she laughed herself to sleep. Smooth, real smooth!)

My brain really went into over drive on the way down to Milwaukee. Maybe I could shrink it with a blow dryer. Maybe a rubber band at the end to hold it snug? I may be better off using a fucking Ziploc bag here! When it comes to testing things out on my penis, I get a little squeamish though. This is understandable for every man, especially so for me. You see, one time I sought to prove to myself an urban myth that you could crack your penis. (Fuck Loveline for putting the idea in my head.) Well, you can, but take my word for it. It was the scariest experience of my life, that’s all I am saying.

The story now, I need to stay on track, I skipped way ahead. I bring the X-tra large Magnums to the counter. Dude is reading a magazine. He looks up, grabs the rubbers, & swipes the product. I am fucking 23 & buying rubbers can always be uncomfortable, especially when you are buying ginormous ones for a man obviously swinging a small stick. When I am uncomfortable, my defense mechanism is humor. I bust out with,

“Small selection today, you have safety pins to keep these on me? These are waaaayyyyyyyyyyy too big!”

Dude was not impressed whatsoever. He glanced up for a second & looked like he wanted to punch me in the face. OK, bad joke, followed by extremely uncomfortable silence. Fine. I handed him the ching, off to the races.

Moral: Use condoms, they suck but having kids sucks more. Ladies, no matter how much he begs, down his ass, trust me here. I thanked her later every time & he will to if he has any respect for you.

Born on the 8th day of the month, you have a special gift for business, as you can conceive and plan on a grand scale.
You have good executive skills and you're a good judge of values.
You should try to own your own business, because you have such a strong desire to be in control.
You are generally reliable when it comes to handling money; you can be trusted in this regard.
Idealistic by nature, you are never too busy to spend some time on worthwhile causes, especially if managerial support are needed.
There is much potential for material success associated with this number.

Posted by D. Schwa at 1:30 AM | Permalink | Comments

I read an article last summer on a program launched by Virginia & cut it out. Over the weekend I found it in a shoebox of articles I had put away & decided to Google it. It asks the question, “Isn’t she a little young?” I initially found it funny considering circumstances a couple of my friends have themselves in, but then began thinking back upon my own dating history & wondering how & the hell I personally didn’t end up in prison. The site covers some great material, but more importantly puts the fear of God in you.

They 1^st covered laws. Now I am no legal expert but the penalties seem to be quite severe. These are Virginia laws but I am pretty sure the W-I has similar laws. They make it very clear if you are 18 & she is any younger than 18, you are fucked. Take notes…well you know who you are.

They then answer a couple questions, “What to do if you are in a relationship with a much younger person & you know it is not right.” I found this somewhat humorous…

“A healthy relationship is one that is based on equality. An adult (over 18) who is in a relationship with a minor cannot, by definition, be equal partners in a relationship. Statutory Rape is not only an issue of consent, but also one of coercion and exploitation. Anytime an adult has a sexual relationship with someone who is underage, it is a form of exploitation, even if no overtly coercive behavior appears to be involved. The adult is using the sexual and emotional inexperience of the teen to get something from them. You may just have the feeling that your relationship with a younger person is not right, or a friend may have told you that your relationship is uncool.”

Can I be honest here? In some cases this may be right, but for the most part this is absolute horseshit. I have been in a relationship where I was over 18, she was under &, I could be wrong here, but it was about as far from coercion and exploitation as it could possibly be. Sure there are guys that nail 16 year olds because they can get it. These are the same guys that are 40 & hitting 18 year olds. I suppose those chicks aren’t coerced and exploited. Na, that is legal it is cool. In my experience, as hard as this may be to believe, I genuinely loved her & didn’t really give a shit about a few years. Had I just been in it for sex, I would have filled her up with roofy cocktails. The next morning when she woke up naked & with a curious itch & some soreness might have raised some questions, but nothing indictable. Let’s be real here, if you want to block sex, either (a) cut of the male’s testicles &/or (b) rid the world of stupid chicks. Neither is going to happen.

The nest section tells us what to do if, “My buddy is involved with a girl & I know it’s not right.”

“You know it's not right. You have asked him "isn't she a little young?" It gets kind of weird when he brings her to parties. Did you know: older men often date girls because they believe they can coerce them into having sex?”

Sure it’s weird when he tries bringing her places but I doubt he is coercing her into sex. I read on…

“Older teens who may not feel confident of their ability to attract and maintain a relationship with an equal may turn to someone younger as a way to bolster self-esteem.”

Don’t relationships in general boost self-esteem?

“Men/older boys who have rigid, stereotyped views of masculinity may see the "conquest" of a young girl as an affirmation of their masculinity.”

Men think they are tough if they get plain laid. You sleep with a younger chick you are getting roasted by your boys, trust me.

“Older teens and adults who have control issues may find it easier to control someone who is younger.”

Actually, in the relationship I was in, control wasn’t really the deal. She wasn’t stupid & well the thing that attracted me was that she actually stood up for herself. Half of women have low self-coincidence & put up with anything from guys. This isn’t really an age thing here.

“Adults who have not been successful in their relationships with other adults may turn to preying on young teens.”

There seems to be a huge difference between 17-18. I suppose an 18 y/o going to a 17 y/o is a huge jump & he or she should go to hell.

Bottom line, I was going to roast the hell out of my friend dating people under 18, just because I felt like being a hypocrite, but this site actually ended up bothering me quite a bit. Now I am not talking about dirtballs like Anderson that brag about nailing chicks only to find out they are 15 & very pregnant. He is an idiot. I am talking about the decent people here. Sure it sucks that my buddies are ‘child rapers.’ Are they predators though? Ok, yea they are. You guys may have moved up to 1^st class on the plane to hell. Don’t worry though, I am right there with you.

Posted by D. Schwa at 12:32 AM | Permalink | Comments

I haven’t written a Blog on country music in forever. I know everyone who reads this hates the music but this is my Blog. These are the songs I am listening to right now. There are some oldies & some new ones but they are all good ones.

Kenny Chesney – What I Need To Know

Really old but I love it. “I got the window rolled down, I got the radio up / I`m doin all I can to get my mind off us / What I need to do is turn this car around / Drive as fast as I can til I see the lights of our hometown / & run to her, take her in my arms / Make her see how sorry I am, well that shouldn`t be so hard / But I drive on, &d on, & on.”

Brooks & Dunn – It’s Getting better All The Time

This is a new song but sounds way old school. I am a whore for well written songs & this one is awesome. It starts with these haunting opening lyrics. “I don't stop breathing every time the phone rings / My heart don't race when someone's at my door / I've almost given up thinkin' your ever gonna call / It’s getting better all the time.”

Keith Urban – Days Go By

No words needed.

Sugarland – Baby Girl

Completely not a song I normally like but I liked this since the 1^st time I heard it.

Montgomery Gentry – Speed

Old but awesome.

Montgomery Gentry Speed

Really catchy. “Gone like a freight train / Gone like yesterday/ Gone like a soldier in the Civil War / Bang bang! / Gone like a '59 Cadillac / Like all the good things, that ain't never comin' back.”

Dierks Bentley– What Was I Thinking

Another old but awesome. “She was a beauty from south Alabama / Her daddy had a heart like a nine-pound hammer / Think he even did a little time in the slammer / What was I thinking?!?!”

Buddy Jewel – Sweet Southern Comfort

Another song I normally wouldn’t like but this didn’t take long to grow on me.

Tim McGraw – Just To See You Smile

Greatest song of all time.

Craig Morgan – That’s What I Love About Sunday

I am still unsure how this song got so popular or why I like it.

Bobby Pinson – Don’t Ask Me How I Know

Just downloaded out of the blue & liked it.

Rascal Flatts – Skin

I just saw this song hit the charts & couldn’t believe it. This the hidden track on the Feels Like Today disc & the best written song on the CD. I was shocked they decided to release it.

Rascal Flatts Fast Cars & Freedom

This is another great song from the CD. I thought Here’s To You was coming next but this song is shooting up the charts. It was weird because I put it up as an away message & I heard it on teh radio for the 1st time the next day. “Staring at you, taking off your makeup / Wondering why you even put it on / I know you think you do, but baby, you don't need it / Wish that you could see what I see when it's gone.”

Tim McGraw – My Old Friend

Just love this song for so many reasons.

Montgomery Gentry – She Loved Me

We’ve all been there.

Moral: Download all & love.

Posted by D. Schwa at 11:13 PM | Permalink | Comments