Depression
I just finished the Detour Blog & felt compelled to write more. I wrote in my YIR about depression & how it had virtually crippled who I was. People saw glimpses of who I was but ultimately that view was impaired by depression’s ugly effects. I don’t think, unless you have experienced it, you can fully grip how it controls you. I used to always say that I could beat depression without help. That theory destroyed a lot of what I held dear in my life. My family came through when I needed them most. For the 1st time in at least 5 years I am not depressed. I have felt it for some time, the fact that I have finally beat it. There are so many things that I enjoy now that I don’t think I would have ever had I not changed things. This weekend I ran into a couple old friends. I think both of them noticed just how different a person I am without that old dark cloud over my head. I smile & laugh a lot more. I don’t let the details bother me. The greatest thing I have found in the past 6 months is the following adjustment to my thinking. Instead of getting mad at the little things or laughing at them, laugh with them. It sounds so simple but it makes such a difference.
I love school so much. There used to always have this restless feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was not being at a 4 year school. I love it because it challenges the way I think about everything. That may be our greatest asset as human beings. Not only the ability to learn but the ability to take what we learn & use it to positively affect our life & the lives of those around us. Those close to me over the past few years used to always ride me about what I was actually going to end up doing with my life. I guess I should be flattered people couldn’t see me I a grocery store. I knew I was biding time, taking classes, trying to find something that would be my passion in life. I finally have found that. I actually have lead out my 5 year plan. (I might actually put that on here.) I am a person that, once has found direction, attacks my goals with enthusiasm & passion. My current orientation in life has me on a path that I am excited to continue to run.
I am still working on that dating Blog I was going to post almost a month ago, I like it a lot but I need to tone it down a bit. I got a bit cocky/funny in it for my own good. I also wrote something a week ago about death after I found out one of my friend’s sister has cancer. I like that one a lot, just need to finish it. Anyway….
