The LC: It’s Raining Juice
Well after 2 years of broken promises from my managers I decided to give up on my marketing degree & head to the SNC. My last summer myself & my crew decided to make it the most enjoyable work experience possible. I used to get blamed for everything that went wrong in that place, I finally decided to add some truth to what they were saying. I old several people my one goal was to have people tell stories of our crew years after we were gone…mission accomplished.
Now that I am finally done working for the company…I can begin telling our stories. I’ll begin with a tale that's probably not the best, rather my personal favorite…
One thing about working in a crappy grocery store that doesn’t sell very much is that there are a ton of expired groceries to throw away, especially from the dairy department. With things such as yogurt & cheese we would have shoot outs. Each person would take 10 items & we would shoot across the backroom into the garbage can. Best out of 10 would win. These became epic matches involving 4 or 5 employees on a nightly basis.
We got unbelievably good at hitting shots from long distances, however we did have our misses. When you are trying 360° fade-aways you are not going to hit everything. If you haven’t seen a yogurt hit a wall after traveling 40 feet in the air, you haven’t lived. The garbage can was against a stainless steel cooler wall & we would have to squeegee off the freaking thing every time. The wall looked more like something off a paintball course than the backroom of a grocery store.
Well we had tons of fun with the small stuff but we had to come up with an activity for the larger things such as juice. There is no way you keep your sanity in that god forsaken place if you don’t turn everything into a screw off session. Our chosen activity for juice was throwing it as hard as possible into the back of the garbage crusher & watching it explode. Done right, any jug or juice will explode like an A-bomb & only make a mess in the dumpster. Pretty simple, a ton of fun.
Well, it’s a ton of fun if someone doesn’t screw up. Towards the end of the summer of ’04 we were enjoying this very activity. One of my favorite all time Pig people, Chris Kantelberg were just hammering them into the dumpster. We had an entire shopping cart full. Each one of us would take a turn gunning them. We were laughing our asses off.
That was until Chris missed the 4’ wide hole, hammering me with OJ.
Ummmm…I wasn’t happy in the slightest. I had been wearing Banana 
Bam! It looked like someone slaughtered a freaking cow over him. His white uniform shirt was a distinctive red, his blond hair even turned pink. He was red head to toe. Now I was laughing my ass off along with the produce department who had come to see what was up.
Ok, that was well & great, I got mine. But now I had to figure out how we were going to cover this up, something we had gotten really good at that summer.
We wrapped Chris in 3 or 4 stocks aprons. Then I sent someone out the back door to scout & see if any employees were out in the employee lot. This was around
Ok, we are safe now…Well Chris rolls back into work 20 minutes later with a fresh uniform on & all looks good. That was until I noticed his hair was still pink. Yea, I made him go back to work out on the floor.
Anyway…there will be plenty more Pig stories to come. I have a NASCAR blog coming up soon & maybe a random entry in-between there. Until then…peace…
Currently Playing…
The Fallout
By Default
“Wasting My Time” (Video Link)
&
“Sick & Tired”
