These Are the Days: Sunday Morning Fun

Waking up for work @ 6am isn’t exactly on the top of my list of things to do. In fact, waking up early is something I avoid at all costs, thus my classes starting @ 3 on Monday & 11 Tuesday thru Thursday. Sunday morning brought my 1^st shot @ opening Pig #258.I rolled out of bed & actually made it to work 15 minutes early ready, there was something great about today. The wait wouldn’t be long for some interesting fun to unfold.

Surprisingly, the fun of the day would transpire immediately. It started with the office person running up to me. “Dustin, a crazy guy just came in the store wearing socks!” This type of thing is common on any college campus. ½ of the kids in any of my classes are dirtballs that just rolled out of bed reeking like they just rolled down a hill in a port-o-john. It has become too common place for me. The dude is getting off a bender & needs a long john & OJ to recover.

I went to investigate anyway. Nothing was really out of the normal & I soon discovered the guy. He was the Frito vendor, or so I thought. Wearing his PJ’s & a headset, he was tossing his chips from the chip rack onto the floor. Sure the guy was tossing them, but I figured he was rotating his product. He seemed odd, but if you have ever seen the dirtballs the companies send to fill product on the weekend, it would blow you off your feet. I’ll stop be before I go off on a whole different digression. I walked to the end of the store & headed back when I noticed he was on his second side of the display gunning chips on the floor. By this time he had an 8 foot radius surrounding him, blocking the entire aisle.

By this time I had ask some questions. “Sir, are you with Frito Lay?” He didn’t respond. “Sir, are you with Frito Lay?” At this point, I noticed the headset wasn’t a headset, it was the ear muffs the construction workers wear when they jackhammer concrete. Apprehensive at this point, I tapped him on the shoulder again. “Sir?” He looked me in the eyes & his entire face was expressionless & his eyes glassy. Crap, the guy is laced on LSD.

I raced up front, had the ladies call the KPD, & raced back. He was on the 3^rd side by now & the meat manger had made his way over. You have three options here: (a)Try to peacefully stop him (Never really an option for a 20 something year old guy.). (b)Pile on the nut & pummel him until the cops come. (Probably what I would have done had this been while I was at the LC.). (c)Let him do his thing I chose c. As long as the guy had something to do, I was content to let him empty every shelf in the store. It would have been fun to brawl with a dirtball laced out on coke, but my fighting partner (& boyfriend) Cole was not in yet & I don’t role without my partner. I knew the lessons learned in Roadhouse with my man P. Swayze would pay off. There was no way I was going to die in a pool of my own blood in a grocery store with a shiv wound from a cokehead.

He ripped through the chips & all that was left was glass jars of salsa. Bang, Bang, Bang! He starts tossing them. Ok, luckily none broke but 1 would have. Andy & I corralled him & got him to sit on a bench. He pulled out this string & started pulling on each end as he tweaked out. This was the 1^st time I had time to actually think about the situation. All of a sudden it hit me. “Andy, I bet this is an agape kid (Agape homes are group homes for the mentally disabled.). He is autistic.” His muffs were straight off of Warren in There’s Something About Mary. Loud Noises! Loud Noises!

I was trying not to laugh as we waited for the cops. Not at the kid, but at the situation. I had an aisle covered in chips, quarter peanut bags, & jars of salsa. It was such an incredibly odd situation. It is funny how things work, Mike opens the store 51 out of 52 Sundays. The 1 day I open I get the situation where he would have killed the poor kid. (Mike admittedly isn’t exactly the worlds most patient or understanding person & would have unloaded on him.) Working with kids I have learned a ton of patience & understanding I never had. It is weird how coincidences like that play out.

Anyway… the cops get there & they knew him by name. “Jack, how are you doing man?” Apparently the kid likes to get out & count things when he gets the chance. I never got his count on the chips & didn’t bother counting during the half hour it took me to clean up the mess. The cops took him home, scared but in good shape.

All in a days work…Anyway…I have a couple blogs I have in my head. 1 on a dating convo I had the other day, the other on people you meet at the Pig. We’ll see how boring class is this week.

Currently Playing….
“Melt
by Rascal Flatts
“These Days”