These Are the Days

Everyone has gone through a drive thru at some point in their life. In fact, with the size of most Americans, we go through them daily. It’s a pretty simple process really. There are these arrows that point you to box that talks. You place your order & follow the arrows, or the car ahead to a window. There is a huge sign above that says pay here, you do. You then roll ahead, again following the arrows or car ahead to the final window. They hand you your drink & food & you drive away. Really, more than a simple process.

Today I rolled into the McDonald’s drive thru like every other time. I followed the arrows to the big talking box & placed my order, a super-sized #11 with a Coke. Simple enough, right? Not quite, I look up just in time to see a lady 2 cars ahead of me rear end the car ahead of her. Nothing big, little bump, the cars are plastic & flexible. Nah, this lady had the misfortune of bumping one of ‘those’ people. You know, the people that watch too much CSI & suddenly think they are a cop. They both got out of their cars, looked it over, & got back in. the 1^st car was covered ins alt & just had the salt wiped off the car, nothing to get in a bundle over. She jumped back in her car, & finished going through the drive thru & then drove off. Well, so everyone thought.Suddenly she comes ripping around the building behind me & pulls into a spot to the side. She jumped out & started bitching at the lady that had hit her. WTF… “I decided I need your info, blah, blah blah!” My car windows were closed & I could hear every word, I felt horrible for the lady ahead of me. Did I miss something? This was just a freaking bump! It got to the point where the lady ahead of me had to pull to the side where the 1st car had parked. Soon McDonald’s employees were out there breaking things up. It was nuts, all over a bump.

I wouldn’t have written a thing hadn’t it been for the 2^nd ½ of the story. So I mentioned the cars were a few ahead of me. Emphasize the were. Somewhere in all this I had been drumming a mean beat to Chesney’s new CD & the car in front of me disappeared. Really, it disappeared. I looked in my mirror, & she was behind me. I double taked it & was still confused. Was this the work of David Copperfield? Na, couldn’t be. I was now up at the “Pay” window, “$2.11 please!” What? I had a meal…”Your not the cheeseburger?” Still confused, I heard the lady behind yelling, That’s mine! That’s mine! I pulled aside!” WTF is going on?

I asked the lady at the window, “Did I miss the obstacle course or was the drive thru as straight forward as I had presumed?” She stated I was right on. My next question was what everyone reading this is thinking, “How do you fuck up a drive thru?” Her answer brought us together in some special moment that only 2 people mocking someone that has just somehow managed to fuck up a drive thru can share, “It would shock the sheer number of fucking idiots that come thru here!” I was crying laughing.

I rolled forward grabbed my food & looked over at the 2 ladies exchanging info & thought about helping out a sister & gunning my cup at the cranky one. I decided against it. I looked back at the window to see the lady that had just handed me my food now picking her nose. I couldn’t make this up. At that point I didn't know if i should start my meal with a McNugget from the bag or a McNugget from my own nose...absolutely disgusting! God I love McDonald’s!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I might have a few stories that arise from the holiday weekend so keep posted. Until then…

Posted by D. Schwa on Tuesday, November 22, 2005 at 2:24 PM | Permalink