Randy Moss
Randy Moss is an elite NFL player. He is also an elite class asshole. It was September 26, 1999 and my senior year in high school. My dad got me in as a security guard at Lambeau. (Yea, me guarding something?) Well it turned out to be a sweet job as I was positioned on the field just outside of the visitor’s locker room. It was my opportunity to meet NFL players & I was amped. I had already worked the opening game of the season & the Pack squeaked out a win on a last second touchdown pass right in front of me. When you start with a high like that you only think things can get better.
My feet were wet & I figured my second week on the job I would have the balls to talk to the players. The opponent of the day was the Minnesota Viking. I hate the Minnesota Vikings. I start by saying ‘Hey’ to starting quarterback Randall Cunningham. He responded, “What’s up man?” OK, I am freaking jacked. Acceptance? Next move, Hall of Fame receiver Cris Carter rolls his ass out of the tunnel & I drop, “What’s up man?’ He responds, “What’s up dawg?”
This response made me feel right at home. An ear to ear smile adorned my face. I’m a brotha. I listen to to Notorious. I’m down. I can now bust all the Snoop D-O double G speak I & every other gangster listen too. Soon second year star Randy Moss Rolls out of the tunnel. I bust out a robust, “What’s up dawg?” The reaction I got was not expected. Randy’s mouth dropped open & blankly stared at me as he walked by. I went from a feeling of complete acceptance to that of being a coarse piece of pubic hair on a burger. If there would have been a 10 foot hole, I would have dove into it.
Bottom line: I know the majority of people reading this have heard me rap drunk. True, true I may come across as a brotha tight & accepted in the community, but it is a front. I am sorry if this crushes your vision of me as someone who erased the color lines, but I cannot live a lie. If I can’t be accepted by the African-American community, is the rest of the world going to?
