Powder
When we hit hard times in life, inevitably we look for someone or something to latch onto. Some people reach for another person, others reach for God. I guess I am one of those that reach for God.
It’s no secret the last month has been crazy at the least. There have been a lot of highs & lows. The more things go on, the more I am confused as to where everything is going in my life. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. The events of our lives shape future events. God sets an obstacle course of events in our lives to test us. How we deal with those obstacles creates us.
Although I don’t believe in fate (It is really an excuse for people to screw up & say, “Well it was in the cards.”), I do believe God has a plan for us. I think of this plan as a choose your own adventure book. You are given several options. The easiest isn’t always the best, however may have the best results. We are given all these options by God & it is our duty to make the best decisions. Every decision has a consequence & a subsequent event.
I also believe God gives us signs. Call it a warning or a 6th sense, I genuinely believe in it. It is that gut sense on things. It lets us know when things are not right. We choose to either listen to it or ignore it.
I guess the next question is, “Who do I think God is?” I guess everyone has their own definition or theory on God ranging from omnipresent super being to a nonexistent being. I have taken a lot of flack, & fairly, for my Powder god. For those who don’t know, I take some of my beliefs from the movie Powder. There are similarities in the movie Green Mile. I believe people have a lot higher capacity than we give each other credit for. There is an aura that surrounds each of us & it is up to us to tap into this energy. I think this is where psychic energy, the 6th sense, & other things like that come from.
As for God himself, I may be the 1 person that doesn’t think God is perfect. I kind of see him as this all powerful guy that means well but makes mistakes once in a while. He is always there when you need him & serves as a pseudo guidance counselor when you need him. To some this may be sacrilegious, for me it makes a lot of sense. What God that cares for you & loves you wants you on your knees worshipping him?
After everything that has happened, I have no idea what God’s plan is for me. I honestly thought I had it figured out. I have a really great sense of people & what is going on around me, however lately I almost feel like it is busted. There are so many signs pointing in one direction, while things are happening in another. I am unsure how to take it. I’ll read something or see something & think, “OK, here it is.” Then things go completely the opposite. This could be people consciously going the opposite direction or I just don’t know. I understand people make mistakes, or go off path, but lately everything has been ridiculous. Maybe it is completely our job to correct mistakes. But how do we know how far to go? Is it up to us or others?
So to sum up what I am saying is that I am really confused with life right now. School is going really well again this semester, yet there is something that is missing. I generally pride myself on being a very independant person. I guess I hadn't realized the extent I had begun to rely on people in my life. Time & prayer are the only things that fix situations such as these. I guess I will leave it to those two factors to establish another path in life. Every night I pray to God for the strength to make it through these times & to find a new direction. Hopefully a solution presents itself soon.
Currently Playing...
Inbetween Dreams
by Jack Johnson
