Dating I
So here’s the thing, I have been joking about writing a book on dating. I think I really will write it one day, but for now I thought I would release my Blog on dating in sections. By now the people that read my Blog regularly realize that there are 2 things I refuse to discus at length in them or with anyone: 1.) Who I am dating now. 2.) Intimate details of past relationships. There are a few reasons for this but the main being there is no reason to rip pen old wounds and never burn bridges you may want to cross again. These Blogs may change that because I have way too many relationship stories not to tell. Our book is tentatively titled Dustin’s Guide To Dating: Coke or Women. I know, has a ring to it. I have always had a way with words. I thought I was onto something when all the kids that work with us started buying into my dating secrets. They actually work. Anyway, I wrote this long ass Blog on dating & every time I went to post it, I found 5 more things to add. What I was left with was a 14 page word document & I hadn’t even scratched the surface. I wrote the following part after I had a psych class on the age old nature versus nurture question. Most of these start on topic & swerve into a rant off topic. I will preface these by saying don’t read really deep into what I am saying because although there is always truth to my sarcasm, these Dating Blogs are definitely some of my better material if I don’t decide to pull some stuff out. I think you will enjoy. This may be the series that never ends; it goes on & on my friend.
A lot of our temperament & those sort of things are set at a young age but the next biggest factor in who you are is who you hang out with. That’s why I tend to role with a small crew. I trust everyone I hang out with, I assume they trust me. Very often the health of a relationship is based on your mental condition when you enter it. If you or the other person are needy or just plain crazy, generally you will end up in a screwed up relationship. A relationship has to be 50/50, has to be. I love when I see people hook up & one person is so obviously fucked up & the other person doesn’t see it. It is like a fucking train wreck. Nobody wants to see it, but they want to see it. Here are some good warning signs. If your person of interest is a huge drinker, smoker, on any drugs, is a gambler, or has a more than normal love of guns, steer clear. Trust my ass on this one. The problem is they may seem normal at 1st, it eventually comes out. You can ride the train as long as you want but eventually the shit is coming off the tracks. If you're around fucked up shit too long, it eventually is going to catch up with you.
One of my favorite quotes from a movie has to be Van Wilder’s, “1st dates are interviews.” It is so true. I, at all cost, avoid alcohol on 1st dates. Believe it or not, it will affect decision making. That’s how you get your self in a mess. I don’t care who you are, interest from anyone is like crack. If you aren’t careful you are going to get stuck. Mix in vulnerability & you are really fucked. (They are ampuatating your arm because the pussed up mess that used to be your vein won't heal.) People ask me why I am single still. I will tell you why. I, for the most part, am a very good judge of character. My hunches are usually right ass on. I really treat dates like interviews. I lace a little bit of charm & just ask a ton of questions. You really get to know someone (plus the woman may actually think you are interested in someone other than yourself or something other than getting ass.). If any red flags are raised, it is usually time to abort. Pull out the clothes hanger & follow the manuel.
A professor last semester, after reading a few of my papers, said I had a relationship maturity of a 35 year old. I look at relationships in an adult way. (This theme will be revisited in another Blog.) I am young, looking for someone to have a great time with. If something comes from that, awesome. But here is the thing. Look at things beyond whether you are getting fucked that night. You really think if your significant other wants to say, pick up garbage for a living, & you want to go to college & become something, things are really going to work? I look so much at how much responsibility someone has. Ladies, if dude is mooching off mom & dad at 20 still, you think there may be a problem? Daddy is still making Jr.’s car payment? WTF, grow the shit up. A lot of people think you just grow up one day, it happens over time. The thing is, some people never get it though, actually the majority of people. For many, life is about being a puppet. It may make you friends but good luck sleeping at night. I used to think being mature was about being serious & only responsibility. It took a lot of fun out of life. It is how you look at life & situations & how you react to them. I party more than ever now, have more fun than ever, but accomplish more than ever. It is all about attitude. To summarize, if your goal is to life in Kaukauna your whole life, struggling to hit end’s meet every month, date a douche bag from Kaukauna that say, stuffs dead animals for a living. Or even better, a 25 year old that has 2 goals in life, drink beer & manage grocery stores…. If you want bigger things than what everyone else has, date someone with some goals. You are not going to change someone unless they want to change.
I guess what I am trying to say here is make sure you start your relationships on the right foundation. Make sure you are picking people that don’t have closets full of shit to hide. Otherwise, you could find yourself defending the very thing only a fool would defend. Trust me here, if they treat you like shit 3 months in, they are going to 5 years in. I am not talking about disagreements or the random bad moods, that shit happens. I am talking about those arrogant fucks that think they can play the shit out of everyone & everything. Life eventually catches up, I can guarantee you that. You get what you put in.
Everyone makes mistakes in dating, it is about admitting them & learning from them. The wise man makes mistakes & learns from them, the dumb ass makes mistake after mistake.
See ya when I see ya, peace!
