Jaren's Cabin
Jaren’s cabin was definitely interesting for me this year. I got there a couple hours before everyone else & got all set up. The 1st night kind of sucked because my allergies hit me really hard. I got straight looped up on allergy medicine &, to be really honest, the mix of alcohol & medicine didn’t mix really well. I can remember barely anything from the night. Kiel & Rory rolled up, it was good seeing some of the L-Chute guys. But it wasn’t cool that I couldn’t go all out. I did set a trend for the rest of the week this night also, you know what I am talking about.
After waking up @
In any event, we built a hell of a pile of wood for our fire. The goal of the fire: To burn through a log that had been in the pit since last year & to nearly kill both J-Ron & myself. Both missions would be accomplished. After much delay, Jaren covered the pile of logs in 3 ½ gallons of gasoline. After safely clearing the area, I struck a match & let it fly. Boom! Flames shot between my legs & I was about 5-6 feet away. Everyone in attendance was amazed. Then the inevitable 15 year-old fucking around began. Aerosol bottle… aerosol bottle… can full of explosive material… we began to gun explosive material into the flames. Not satisfied with the results, Jaren & I began to add drama by gunning shit into the fire from 50 yards away, over everyone’s heads. We were remarkably accurate considering our intoxicated states. WE hit the center of the fire time after time. Chris likened it to soldiers mortaring an enemy position, I would agree. At the end of the night, Jaren interrupted my skin game of Tiger Woods to bring me out to the fire. “Dude, I just wanted you to see this too.” He lifted the end of a once 2’ thick log & tossed it in. The fire not only burned through this beast of a log, it consumed the whole fucking thing.
During this time I almost killed Matty, knocking his skinny ass off the deck. I apologize buddy, but not for laying you out after you attempted retribution, hippy boy. J
The night soon took a really strange twist. As Jaren & I went to the main rode to get Whitney who had made her way up, Cole did his best to rip off his arm. We ran into him as Elaina rushed his ass to the hospital. Turns out he ripped every possible thing that holds an arm on, nearly off, ouch. A group of us stayed up the rest of the night worrying & waiting for him to get back. When Elaina called lost, Whit & I set out to find their position in Cecil. We guided them back to the cottage & I decided I better get ready to go to school.
I had an exam Friday morning. Having had no sleep the previous night, I knew that I would sleep all Thursday so I packed up my stuff & headed home. There would be one more great surprise on the way home. I freaking nailed a morning dove 5 minutes away from the cabin. It wouldn’t have been a huge deal except for the fact it covered my car in feathers & lodged itself between the hood & bumper. With a quick stop at a gas station, I made an attempt to dislodge it with one of those window washer things. I got the body, but the head remained lodged under the head with the spinal cord hanging there. The clerk gave me a wonderful look of disgust. I popped the hood & it finally fell, thank god.
Moral, I still love Jaren’s cabin. Everyone thank me for leaving out all the hooking up, more than one person showed what a whore they are. If anyone would like to write the last night that I missed, I would be happy to post a guest column. I hear it included a case race, a Miah & Amanda appearance, & keg stands that turned into creepy, but not so surprising, feel up sessions.
Other J-Ron cabin links... Northern Oasis & Last Summer Sunset.
